When is the best time?

 I struggle more than I admit. I barely really know how to express myself in a healthy way. We try to live the life we build for ourselves, but watch ourselves melt away, I always assumed fairness was the way to go. I started to realize not everybody lives by that. How do we walk towards the light while the darkness is constantly sucking your soul? 

I am in my 30s I barely have anything to show for myself. I come with baggage and a traumatic past. I come with kids who I believe I fail. Do they deserve a mother like me? Somebody who fights her own battles that were created by real life demons? We all create these figments out our imaginations to either make us or break us. Why am I living reality of things we were taught were fairytales? Why brain wash a child to believe she would amount to so much in life, Only to find out she failed at everything she set her mind to. 

I started getting confused with the way life is, I've been talking to My Mother more, Side note i've always struggled with getting along with My Mother because I reminded her to much of My Father who she pretty much made a mistake with. So does that mean I am a mistake? That doesn't really sit well if you really think about it. I've started to get back into old hobbies like this. Writing, I've been told I have a talent in writing, yet I don't even know where to start. 

I decided to start " Blogging " my life experiences. Give me a second to get the hang back. My lifetime is full of good and bad experiences, that I hope will help others. Or not. It will help me to look back and see My progress one blog at a time.